I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.

Ecclesiastes 9:11



Santa Claus killed two crows



The reader may wonder what this strange title means. I will explain. As everyone knows, Santa Claus stands for St. Nicolas. Therefore the tzar Nicolas II, who was canonized by Russian Orthodox Church, can be rightfully called Santa Claus II.

A few years ago Russian blogosphere discussed [1] the diaries [2] of Santa Claus II to which the saint entrusted his intense spiritual life. For some reason the dicussion did not transgress the boundaries of Russian language and the facts revealed are entirely unknown in English-speaking world. Now the reader has an opportunity to catch up.The matter is not entirely foreign to you since Santa Claus II was a cousin of King George V. Here is a typical entry from the diary of the saint which is dated June 2, 1904 (my translation):

Cool clear day. After the report had a small reception. We breakfasted alone. Gave audience to Kulomzin. Took Alix for a ride in the park; Tatiana accompanied us. Killed 2 crows. Took a ride in a kayak. In the evening we went to the other side and selected porcelain and crystal items.

The following table summarizes the crow-hunt of Santa Claus II in 1904 and 1905.

DateNumber of crows killed by Santa Claus II
04/17/19041
04/19/19041
04/29/19041
05/17/19041
05/25/19042
05/27/19042
06/02/19042
06/04/19042
06/05/19042
10/06/19043
10/10/19045
11/08/19041
01/25/19053
01/27/19051
02/19/19054
03/17/19052
05/28/19052
05/29/19051

The scourge of the kitties


Santa Caus II did not limit his attention to crows during afternoon strolls. On May 8, 1905 he killed a cat [2]. Apart from casual killings, from time to time Santa Claus had an Imperial hunt. We have the reports for 1896, 1899, 1900, 1902, 1908, and 1911 Imperial hunts. They have been colorfully illustrated by the court artist Rudolf Fränz (1831-1918) and the photocopies are available for purchase from several artistic websites. Below you can see the report for 1908.

The table below summarizes the results of 6 Imperial hunts. Santa Claus II and his crew killed 6,176 cats, 3,786 dogs, and 19,947 crows.

The Year of the Imperial HuntKilled by Santa Claus II and his crew
catsdogscrows
18966012942,658
18997815363,130
19001,0107142,349
19021,3228993,341
19081,2857124,652
19111,1776313,817
total6,1763,78619,947

Whatch your pets! Santa Claus II is after them.

Mikhail Simkin
February 11, 2016

P.S.
In this quiz you can try to tell Grand Princesses of Russia from the daughters of second-tire merchants.

References

  1. The first mentioning of Nicholas II craw and cat hunting activities was in February 1999 article by E.S. Radzig, published in The journal of modern and contemporary history. The article was posted in May 1999 issue of the online magazine Vivos Voco. In 2008 popular blogger Goblin linked to the article. Afterward the information spread over all of Russian blogosphere.
  2. The diaries of Nicholas II (In Russian).

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